Monday, 14 January 2008

Rocks of Bawn Live and unplugged

Knob-Chop Doc anti-Semite say Militant Beardies

Irish surgeon faces Guantonemo internment camp.

The Irish surgeon who cut off the penis of a man who was only booked in for circumcision is an anti-Semite, the US Jewish lobby has declared.

Dr Patrick Murphy has been arrested over accusations of negligence, malpractice and failure to possess the necessary certification for knob and rock surgery, although the bearded black helicopter brigade says the conspiracy goes far deeper than that.

"This man is an anti-Semite," stated one. "Why else would he cut off the penis of an innocent man? We may have another Joseph Mengele on our hands — who knows how many he has already prevented from procreating. He must be held in a containment facility and if necessary executed."

Despite the patient's confessed Catholicism, the event has sent a chill through America. "There is an increasing incidence of this anti-Semitic behaviour," one congressman told reporters. "This is a free and fair country and anyone that doesn't respect different races and religions can leave. Especially Muslims."

Under new laws, the US government is entitled to imprison indefinitely anyone in the world that behaves differently to how it wants them to. Already, a Chilean farmer, a sports commentator from Zambia, some rag-heads and several thousand Afghans have been subject to the laws which will protect our freedom. Dr. Murphy is most likely to be transported to a new facility being built in Texas, rather than Guantonemo, for those of alternative ideological persuasion.

Meanwhile, the memberless patient, who begged us to remain anonymous, continues to rock back and forth in front of a selection of pornography, desperately going through his kitchen cabinets every five minutes in the hope of finding something that will relieve him. The closest so far was the lemon zester.

Dr. Murphy in his defence has stated, that if something can go wrong , it will go wrong, according to Murphy's Law which is not his fault and that the partient is lucky to have his rocks on, atall atall, as he understood the man wanted a sex change.

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