Saturday, 8 November 2014



I'm a born and bred Orange Order man and I never knew anything about sex, other than what I learned from my wife and from a goat at my Orange Order initiation ceremony. Because I was under performing in bed, according to my wife, We joined a local swingers club, after my wife told me the type of admirers that she wanted and what my role was to be, after first watching, to learn what she required, and when she wanted my assistance. I was to strictly follow her orders, not Orange Orders. Later the club told us that a young gentleman was coming round and this is what subsequently happened.

After the doorbell rang my wife ordered me to answer it and standing there bold as brass, was another decent looking Freemason named Willy. My wife came over and gave us both the secret sign, taking him straight up to bedroom. She again ordered me to go downstairs, to sort out the drinks. When I returned to the bedroom, they were on the bed getting very intimate. My wife told me that Willy was going to show me how to please a woman.

I didn’t know what she meant exactly, but I knew by the wink of her eye, she was going to involve me in one way or another. Well they started off, kissing passionately from the word go and ignoring me completely. Whilst I was jealous to see my wife with another man, even if he was a brother from the Orange Order, I have to admit however, that it was also exciting for me and I was getting harder watching both of them but for some strange reason my eyes seemed to focus principally on Willy. 

Anyway she again barked at me, to come over to them on the bed and told to pull her skirt down, which showed her orange panties, which were already soaked, with Willy then pulling her panties down and like a snake, used his fingers istigh, agus nuair a tabhair siad amach iad, my wife ordered mo bheal ag ol an biach. I followed her orders precisely. I started to lick, while Willy was behind me and I was so horribly humiliated, when he too ordered me, to make sure my wife was nice and biach for him, as she slammed my head deep within, while grinding me down between her thighs.

Willy then stood and removed his briefs and I have to admit, that he looked lovely with a nice tight posterior, while he was already hard and well endowed,with it being around 12” long. Now, I understood, why my greedy wife chose him. So there he was cocky and naked as any orangeman you ever saw prancing down the Ardoyne on the 12th, when my beloved wife, started licking his chest, nibbling his nipples, and at the same time, biting them now and then, as I sat on the edge of the bed, watching him while my wife proceeded to slam him onto the bed and lowered herself ever so slowly onto his "bod" and then started to jockey up and down, ferociously on top of him, moaning and groaning, each time she rammed onto him, while at the same time, screaming that this was the best Willy she’d ever had istigh. My wife also at the same time, started cursing and swearing at him in the most foul manner imaginable, calling him a massive dirty orange barsturd, a filthy flegger, a goatshagger, etc.,etc., while at the same time, being very hard on the poor brother, screaming and climaxing with “ marcaíoch dom níos deacra, tiocfaidh taobh istigh orm ”. 

She was, "ag marcaíochta" for an hour plus, when Willy finally exhausted, came up gasping for air, when she then lay back on the bed and looking at me, said "Peadair," (that's her secret, pet name for me in Irish, please don't mention that to anyone, or it will ruin me). "Peadair," she said "tabhair dom do bheal and glanaidh me." She was dripping wet, as if she had just installed an Irish Water meter, and I never did this sort of thing before, but I also knew, if I didn’t carry out her orders, that I wouldn't see Willy again and I was starting to rather fancy him. I also knew, that she would never allow me to have sex with her again. Anyway because of my reluctance, she screamed and barked at me again, to wind in my stubborn neck and grabbed me by hair, lowering my head deep into her very wet harbour.

Because of draconian censorship in both parts of Ireland, I cannot write further about what happened next, or what happened between Willy and me. The rest of this story is censored, on strict God fearing Orange Orders, while the Roman church has also categorized it, as pure filth, while some fascist dissidents have also censored it. So ye will have to wait until Ireland is liberated, for the rest of it. Below are the events that instigated it.

Mayor Andrew Muir cutting a Sesame Street Bert and Ernie 'Support Gay Marriage' cake - Belfast Telegraph

It's the celebration cake that has made international headlines.

Peter Robinson the First Minister of British Occupied Ireland  has described the controversy "bonkers" over the sponge cake at the centre of a holy row of religious conscience versus statutory rights of Christians and of gay people.

The family business refused to make the cake, when they learned it was in support of gay marriage and it has been been taken court by the Equality Commission. The commission has made good on its threat, to take legal action against the Belfast bakery, unless it acknowledges there had been a breach in equality law and offer restitution.

Peter Robinson said last night: "This kind of decision from the Equality Commission is bonkers. They really do need to wind their necks in. In times when we are scrapping around trying to get funding for essential services for Northern Ireland, they are tossing it away."

Court papers are served on the owners of Ashers Bakery Company Ltd. despite the outcry from Christians and faith-based groups over the news of impending legal action.

"We just can't believe that they're serious about this, that they're going to spend money taking us to court because we didn't make a cake," Daniel McArthur of Ashers said.

"The general consensus is shock that the Equality Commission is pushing ahead with legal proceedings. People are surprised that despite us being a small family business and making our principles clear that they are still commencing court proceedings."

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