Monday, 27 April 2015


R.I.P. Irish WaterR.I.P. Irish Water By Terry McGeehan 

What part of “no fecking way” does Enda the Eejit not understand? When will he realise that Irish Water is a busted flush? 

How many more times do he and his gormless Government need to be told that Irish Water won’t fecking float? 

How often does he have to hear the deafening clamour of protests against this utterly discredited quango before he pulls the plug on Uisce Eireann? 

He either just doesn’t get it or he hasn’t got the political balls to extract himself and his junta from this disaster. A wise politician would now execute a strategic retreat from this calamity — and live to fight another day. Despair But we forget that Enda obviously shares the same disastrous DNA as the gobshite of a general who ordered the Charge of the Light Brigade into the suitably named Valley of Death. 

His latest effort at making the electorate sign up to Irish Water is apparently a cap of €80 on a third of the bills — a move that smacks of utter despair and futility. Before the local and European elections last May, Enda boasted that the average water charges would be around €240. 

Irish Water reckons that a two-adult household would get a bill of an average of €278. And Tanaiste Banshee Burton last week stuck her boot in her gob and stated that an average family’s bill would be €200 or even less. 

If this downward spiral of desperate auction politics continues, Irish Water will be paying us just to turn on a fecking tap.joan burton welfare cap It’s become a race to the bottom — with politicians outdoing one another to announce ever lower figures for water consumption costs. And not only are the charges being lowered like a limbo dancer’s arse, but the penalties for not paying have been scrapped — no family will now have their water supply reduced to a trickle as previously threatened by Phil ‘The Hulk’ Hogan, who, having left chaos and crisis in his wake, has now been inflicted on the defenceless farmers of Europe. But the Kenny Klan keeps missing the basic concept — it’s Irish Water RIP and nothing less. 

Last week, the Government was handed a one-way Golden Ticket out of the Irish Water fiasco. Letters revealed that former ECB boss Jean-Claude Trichet had bullied then Finance Minister Brian Lenihan — an extremely sick man — into applying for a bailout from the IMF and ultimately its Troika partners, the ECB and the EU. We were forced by threats of national bankruptcy to borrow up to €65 billion from the Troika and give up our precious, hard-fought sovereignty — for the sole purpose of saving reckless French and German banks from going bust. This is not the way the EU is supposed to work. 

The upshot for the people of Ireland has been years of bitter austerity, poverty, unemployment, emigration, debt, suicide, family break-ups, mental illness, homelessness and despair — and crippling financial burdens such as the Universal Social Charge, Local Property Tax and the proposed water charges. Raw But Trichet’s letters have also handed the junta the undeniable right to demand the repayment of the billions we have so far handed over to our cruel new masters in Europe — and then use some of the billions to modernise our ancient, antiquated, leaky water system and forget the fecking charges. 

Enda Kenny And if they don’t show us the money — our money — then wreck the fecking gaff. No more Mr Nice Guy, Enda. No more craic, banter, blarney, air- kissing, arse-licking, back-slapping, joke-telling, high-fiving, winking, nodding, hugger-muggering, fawning, cap-doffing, forelock-tugging, knee-bending — or bending over fecking backwards to be ridden raw by Europe and then told how lucky we are. Go in studs-up and wreck the fecking gaff.
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