BRITISH QUEEN'S IRISH GOBSHITES

The Six-County State, which the British call northern Ireland, is an abnormal and fundamentally undemocratic scum sectarian entity, which is glued together by British taxpayers monies, to the tune of 12 billion pound sterling annually, to keep a hold on Irish resources, for the City of London, since 1921. 

The right to political protest, is denied there, to those who refuse to bow to the parameters of British Viceroyal Villiers. For the Stormont junta and it's British masters, civil rights only apply to those gobshites, who lick the arse of the British Crown in Ireland. The only thing useful about the latest 'Stormont House Agreement' is to wipe your arse with it, so I will let you get it on paper yourself instead, if you don't take my word for it. It's simply another sellout by careerist gobshites, of the people of no property, like the blueshirts in the south of Ireland.

Anyway the following news is more important. Years ago in the early 1970's, on a visit to Belfast, the Queen arrived in her private plane, with lots of Unionist bigwigs greeting her. After she was driven off, another plane arrived and landed. It was a huge Hercules transport plane, from which a small crate was taken off, put in a van and headed off in the same direction, after the queen. Rumour has it, that the second plane contained only the Queen's toilet and that when she got there, the Unionists were amiss, as to who should be Her Groom of the Stool on her Irish visit. It was at that time, the Gobshite's services were first recruited. 

Before her loafs are vanquished, her royal Gobshite must examine them for quality, after which he must deiicately remove any remaining arsebiscuits, with some cunninglingus. It is rumoured that the old gobshite is getting a bit shakey in the knees and tongue lately and he may be bestowed the honour of some assistance from an Xpensive Quill. Apparently they both have a condition, that is commonly called societal stockholm syndrome, and it's very effective with commoners, in British Occupied Ireland, seemingly.

The Connemara Dictionary.

++
The Connemara Dictionary, originated in the West of Ireland, particularly in Mayo, Galway and parts of Tipperary after the blueshirts forced the natives to speak English, so they came up with some mock English words of their own. The following are words and phrases, that can often be heard in what some call culchiedom:

A fierce pile of bog : A sizable quantity of bog

G'wan ta fuck autt a dat:Please go away

A Thundering fuck :An unreliable person

A shlap in the face of a brick:To be struck square in the face with a brick

A soft day :Miserable fucking weather

Hardy man :Someone who can survive waking up buck naked in filthy ditch water on January the first after a year long drinking session

Machine : General purpose term used to refer to any man made implement more advanced than a pitch fork

Hang sangwedge :

Salty ham surrounded by two slices stale bread. A buffer of cheap margarine, preferably Blue-Band (half inch thick) must separate the ham from the bread. A top class hang sangwige will of course contain a sprinkling of sand.

A paka ha tayho :A bag of crisps

Finches, ave'u the :Have you the Finches orange soda

Girleen:Any girl an older man would like to get his leg over.

Land Rover :Usually a ford escort van that has seen better days.

Mighty :Indicative of something being very good

Craic :Fun, as in Mighty Craic or The Craic was Mighty

Locked :Very drunk

After a few shcoops :reasonably drunk

Flahed :a state of extreme exhaution, usually brought on by consecutive locked nights

Fien :Man whose name is unknown, or unremembered at the present time.

Fine piece of shtuff :used to describe a person considered attractive.

Bollox :multiple uses, generally derogatory

Cunt of a ting :Something very difficult to do or use.

Jaysus :An expression of surprise.

Be Jaysus :An expression of sheer surprise.

Fukdat :An expression of mild displeasure

Yoke :Just about anything whose proper Description doesn't spring to mind

Fierce :It is, yes.

Eeegit :Somebody less intelligent than oneself. i.e. a complete fool altogether

A cute Hoor :

Somebody more intelligent than oneself. i.e. not a complete fool altogether. In some situations this may refer to a person's ability to weasal out of buying their round of drinks, particularlary in
Co Cork, as in "Ye Cute Cork Hoor".

A tight Kunt:

Similar to "A cute Hoor" and again has very little to do with the fairer sex except in perhaps her inability to fork out for her share of the booze.


Gobshite: Someone very high in the "Eeegit" stakes but will generally be a tourist or perhaps from Loonderry with special skills.

Yoke-m-abus : Any form of motorised transport

An onmercifull fe-ad : A very large Sunday dinner partaken after several pints of Guinness

Nollaig Shona Daoibh!

ROYALIST SINN FEIN LORD GOBSHITE ARSELICKER

Groom of the Stool

A Close-Stool c.1650. Hampton Court collection

Following the Royal Banquet for the President of the Irish Free State, at Buckingham Palace last week and the Royal Toast being led by Royalist Sinn Fein's  second minister at Buckingham Palace, there is considerable speculation in Irish Republican circles on the Royal  Groom of the Stool status of Martin McGuinness on the queen's forthcoming frequent Irish visits. With the Queen expected to visit Dublin on a monthly basis, to conduct due diligence on her administration and Anglo Irish bankers in John Bull's other island, there is added significance in Her Majesty's intimate servants role in Ireland,

The Groom of the Stool (formally styled: "Groom of the King's Close Stool") was the most intimate of an English monarch's courtiers, whose physical intimacy naturally led to him becoming a man in whom much confidence was placed by his royal majesty and with whom many royal secrets were shared as a matter of course. This secret information he is privy to, whilst it would never have been revealed, to the discredit of her majesty, in turn led to him becoming feared and respected and therefore powerful within the royal court in his own right. The office developed gradually over decades and centuries into one of administration of the royal finances, and under Henry VII, the Groom of the Stool became a powerful official involved in setting national fiscal policy, under the "Chamber System".

Origin of the Office

The appellation "Groom of the Stool" derived from the item of furniture now known as a commode or portable lavatory (Old English & Norse Stol or Stoll meaning a chair), was in the earliest times a male servant in the household of an English monarch who was in charge of providing facilities for the monarch's defecation, and assisted in his cleansing or washing thereafter. Often when the visit of a modern monarch is planned, for example during the construction of a new building, a special royal lavatory pavilion is built for the occasion.

Evolution of the Office

In the early years of Henry VIII's reign, the title was awarded to court companions of the King who spent time with him in the Privy chamber. These were generally the sons of noblemen or important members of the gentry. In time they came to act as virtual personal secretaries to the King, carrying out a variety of administrative tasks within his private rooms. The position was an especially prized one, as it allowed one unobstructed access to the King's attention. David Starkey writes: "The Groom of the Stool had (to our eyes) the most menial tasks; his standing, though, was the highest ... Clearly then, the royal body service must have been seen as entirely honorable, without a trace of the demeaning or the humiliating."^[9] Further, "the mere word of the Gentleman of the Privy Chamber was sufficient evidence in itself of the king's will," and the Groom of the Stool bore "the indefinable charisma of the monarchy."