I have a friend of 25 years, who had the cheek to tell me a couple of years back, that I would get up on a frog, if it stopped hopping. Of course it's not true, especially for a Catholic boy from Ireland. However,there is a certain truth to it, in the sense that I hardly ever have been monogamus in my life, up to a couple of years ago and I would probaly do the same all over again,if given a chance. Howver that comes with a health warning, that it can be a very expensive in many different ways.. I regard myself as fortunate, in the sense that I am attracted to women, it's just in my case, I find most women beautiful and sexy, so in that sense my life is relatively eimple. There was just one occasion, when I was about three years sober, when I visited the Red Light District in Amsterdam a lot, that I may have had sex with a man by mistake. It was late at night and they were closing shop, so it was very dark and I went in without paying much attention. Towards the end of the session, it felt different, so I asked he/she if they were man or a woman, when it was over, to which I got the reply,"Does it make any difference now?". I had to agree it didn't but it was definitely a learning experience. However at the end of day, I am partial to women, full stop but I have learned, not to take myself too seriously, when it comes to sex.
When I come across stuff in reality, on a daily basis that shocks me, I have learned to put it in the category of, 'it is what it is!'. In my experience and travels, I have marvelled time after time, about the wonderful diversity of life and for anyone who is passionate about living, it certainly is not boring,when I am in touch with my heart. People from different cultures, colours, sexual orientation, have brought much joy and experience to my life and have made my life fun on many occsions. As a result I am very reluctant from to pass judegment on anybody, including myself and a lot of personal liberation comes from that. A lot of the people I knew in Amsterdam came from dysfunctional homes, some of which included child rape. Initially, as I had no personal experience of sexual rape, it was subject I tried to steer clear of but often our friends choose us.
Initially I was horrified, both with the stories and the resulting damage it had done to many friends of mine. In fact the stories were so horrific, particularly those who were victims of satanic cults, that I was inclined to wonder, if they were exaggerated. However the stories were so persistent and consistent from many sources, that I eventually concluded they were mostly factual. Bearing in mind, that I myself came from an extremely violent home, it took many years to come to terms with it, in fact I am not sure, that I still have. Having led a very promiscous life myself and being no paragon of virtue, I am extremely reluctant to rush to judgement of anyone else. However there does come a time, where a line has to be drawn. I have in the course of my life, on occasions come across pubescent young women, who can be quite sexually aggressive. One occasion stands out from a time I was in London, in my early twenties, when I would strip abandoned house of lead and copper,for the price of a drink. On one occasion, I went into an abandoned house, with windows and doors, galvanized up, so it was very dark inside. I was working away when I realized a young girl had crept into the house.
She had very strong, expensive perfume and I retreated into a corner to hide but she saw me. She pursued me into the corner slowly, with the scent of her perfume being very strong. She came right up against me and I could see she had a beauticul face and frankly her demeanour, was sexually aggressive, combined with the overwhelming scent of her perfume, she was sexually arousing. I declined and got to fuck out of there, as fast as I could, because I could see, she was at the most fourteen years of age. That incident often crossed my mind years later, as there was something about it, that defies logic, and of course if I had crossed that line, I would be politcally compromised. I am certain that over the years, that many sexual practices, which were regarded in their time as deviant, went into the little black book of British Intelligence Services, particularly in the matter of colonial Ireland.
The wondeful spiritual gift of sobriety, that was unconditionally given to me, is however conditional in one aspect, that I pass it on to anyone, who requests my help, who is entirely willing to go to any lengths to have it. I don't believe I would be breaking anyone's anonymity by revealing, that on one occasion a paedophile asked me for help, in the matter of sobriety but I picked up from him, that it is complex condition. I tried as best I could to help but had to refer him to someone else, who might understand the matter better than me. It is a fact, that in many ancient civilizations, and indeed in some today, that this practice was culturally acceptable, something Imperialists became aware of and used to great advantage. At the end of the day, I am no expert in these matters and can only come to my own conlusions, as a result of experience. I know that the best definition, I have come across of that much abused word Love, is that Love is Patient, something absent in my own life, until I was the fortunate receipient of it, coupled with tolerance.
My own conclusion, is that until a child reaches the age of consent, both mentally, emotionally and physically, sexual activity with an adult involves rape to a lesser or greater extent and that it often is persistent rape, of the worst kind, that inflicts considerable damage, in all three aspects of a victim's life. To compound this crime, it is even further accentuated by both political and commerial exploitation of the worst kind, that destroys the integrity of whole communities and cultures. From my own experience, until there is a fully transparent, dialectic, without any form of censorship on this matter, we are not on the path to recovery in Ireland, froma problem that is 'sytemic,' despite all the millions spent on Official Inquiries. I believe most of our politcians are compromised, along with elemnts in every aspect of our establisment, more often than not, being in the little black book of British Intelligence Services. I do not make this charge lightly and am fully aware of the many potential consequences. Until people stand up and be counted this state of affairs will continue, for many generations to come.
I believe that the Pseudo Peace Process in Ireland, without Truth & Reconciliation, was built on the little black book of paedophillia and Orange Order Beastiality, for purposes of exploitation. I believe every single canididate, standing for high office in the current British General Election, should come under particular scutiny in this matter. While I personally, for the sake of sanity, have consigned much of this. to the box of it is what is, there is one particular aspect of the matter, that I cannot come to terms with. How can hundreds of thousands of parents, with young children in Ireland, vote for known pedophile politcal parties either engaged or enabling it or those parties engaged in beastiality. I simply cannot for the life of me understand this. Again for my own sanity,I often use black humour, which many find tasteless, to take care of my own well being. If you are a parent who is still connected with your heart, I would ask you to share this post, with as many people as you can, as it will, like Irish Blog be mostly censored by intranets to either slow it or prevent you reading it.